I’ve wrapped up my third semester of my MLIS grad school program, marking one year of academic progress. I wanted to take a few minutes to think back about the experiences I’ve had so far.
First up, grades. This year I’ve maintained a 4.0 every semester. This is a huge difference from how things went during my undergrad many years ago. I was diagnosed autistic near the end of my undergrad, and despite that diagnosis I did not receive any accommodations from the school. At the time of my diagnosis, I was maintaining a 2.4 GPA and routinely failing one class per semester. The diagnosis didn’t unlock any accommodations for me (which I’m still a little bitter about), but it did unlock a new understanding of myself and the way my mind works. It allowed me to discard all of the study strategies that had been piled onto me for decades that were designed for neurotypical brains, so that I could define my own study methods that worked for me. And they did! In my last two semesters of undergrad, my GPAs were 2.8 and 3.4 with no failed classes despite increased courseload. Just understanding myself better was enough to unlock a full point of GPA improvement. Having a 4.0 for the first time in my academic career feels amazing and vindicating.
This is also the first time in my academic career that I’ve had access to accommodations. My program to date hasn’t had any timed exams, so having extra time on exams hasn’t been something I’ve requested. It’s the most requested accommodation in academic settings, and I can understand why. Unfortunately, it’s also the only suggestion that the accessibility office had for me when I first requested assistance. I was hoping the school would have more ideas on ways to make the work more accessible to me, but I’ve mostly been left to invent my own. To that end, I’ve consistently requested two accommodations, and had them accepted each semester. First, permission to use my computer to generate audio for presentations. Second, permission to do group assignments on my own.
The presentations in my program so far have not been synchronous, meaning that I haven’t been expected to perform them live in front of an audience. This is consistent with the rest of the program work, eg we don’t have a live lecture we’re required to attend. Instead, the presentations are submitted as video recordings, and beyond the professors for the class, we’re often expected to exchange critiques with our classmates. My accommodation to use computer-generated narration allows me to avoid the stress of trying to produce words with my mouth, which can range from difficult to impossible. However, it’s not as simple as typing up a script and getting perfect audio back. Sometimes my computer mispronounces words, or the timing is off, or other problems occur. In the end it typically takes me several hours to produce 10-15 minutes of audio. Additionally, since the computer voice isn’t always easy to understand and because I want to model accessibility for my peers, I also include subtitles for my videos. Again, this is not as simple as pasting the script into a subtitle program; it has to be broken into chunks that can fit on screen, and carefully timed with the audio track and slide transitions. This process takes an additional few hours. In the end, what my peers can accomplish in under an hour might take me 8-10. This accommodation doesn’t make the assignment easier for me. It’s significantly harder. What it does is make the assignment possible rather than impossible.
The second accommodation, to be allowed to work solo on group assignments at my discretion, is something I haven’t needed to use yet. Social interactions can be difficult and stressful for me. For group assignments in undergrad, I tended to be insecure with my peers, do all the work myself, and be rather bossy and controlling to try to resolve my own anxiety. In doing so, I missed opportunities to practice collaboration skills, and made it more difficult for my peers to learn in those settings. When I ask for this accommodation, it’s always within the context of a fallback position. I wanted to do better now than I did as an undergrad. I’m confident in my ability to gain the educational experience from the assignment, so instead I focus on the opportunity to build collaboration skills. And if things don’t work out with a particular group, I have the option of doing my own thing. Thankfully, for the two group assignments I’ve worked on this year, my group mates have been patient and hardworking, and we’ve produced some excellent work. My group this semester was the basis for starting my peer support group, which I’m hoping to grow next year.
I’ve had several opportunities to connect with individual librarians to receive some mentoring. As a non-speaking autistic, I worry sometimes that there may not be opportunities within librarianship that would be good fits for me. But each time, they’ve reassured me that there are opportunities for all kinds of people within libraries, and have made suggestions for what areas I might want to focus on. I’ve appreciated these people for providing their advice based on their many years of experience. And I’ve wished that this kind of interaction was included within the scope of the MLIS program.
I’ve learned a lot about what it means to be a librarian, how people seek information, what kinds of information sources are available, and how different types of libraries organize and provide service to different communities. I’ve also learned about how to manage libraries and the people who work in them, which I’ve been able to apply in my volunteer work as well. The coursework has been interesting and challenging. I believe I made the right decision with this subject and this school.
I’ve also had a lot of opportunity to reflect on the experience of being an autistic grad student, an autistic MLIS student, and the role of libraries to serve autistic patrons and hire autistic staff. Writing this blog has been a wonderful opportunity to clarify my own thinking on the topics of accessibility, privacy, and service. Since I value privacy, I don’t have any tracking on this site to know if anyone actually reads it. I mostly write these blog posts for me, but I do hope that someone out there gets something out of my rambling. This is the most consistent with a writing project I’ve ever been, and I don’t anticipate running out of things to write about anytime soon.
Thanks for being on this journey with me. I look forward to sharing next semester with you too. Happy holidays.